At Esselunga, Erik was able to relieve the establishment of several packets of vinegar and olive oil - giveaways for people in their cafe who would eat salad on the fly. Now in possession of all of these valuable goods, he is thinking of starting a neighborhood racketeering operation with other monelli milanesi to sell the packets to people out and about with naked salads. He could be king of a secret economy, holding people with dry potatoes and naked hard cheeses in his thrall. 

It would be just like the Italo Calvino story, “Fumo, vento e bolle di sapone” (“Smoke, wind and soap bubbles”) in Marcovaldo - in which Marcovaldo’s children amass huge quantities of laundry detergent samples - then quite a novelty - by taking them from mailboxes in their apartment complex. When the local monelli get wind of their new hoard, an operation develops with Marcovaldo’s children at the helm as they attempt to resell the rainbow-colored packets back to the residents. 

Their bubble would eventually burst. The police get a whiff of stolen goods and are soon onto them. In panic, Marcovaldo decides to throw all of their ill-gotten goods into the river. Because the paper packets will float, they rip open the packets, one by one, and scatter the powder into the water, thinking the powder will dissolve into the murk.

But that was not to be. The river churns up enormous clouds of iridescent bubbles that escape over the city and take over the sky - only to be stopped by the black smoke of the nearby factory.

“Soon there was such a mixture - between the smoke that trapped the rainbow of the foam, and the soap bubbles that enveloped grains of soot - that we no longer understood anything. At a certain point Marcovaldo searched and searched the sky for bubbles, but he could only see smoke, and more smoke.” 

What will happen, Erik, when the Esselunga security guards get wise to you and monelli crew? Where will you set free your contraband? In the Naviglio, or on the streets, or anywhere - oil and vinegar won’t mix. Like soap bubbles and smoke, they’ll create a beautiful sheen - yours will be golden - and then a mess.  It’s all a business that was never meant to be. Maybe instead you can find a field of dandelions and dress it  - there would never be a more local way of eating. People would come with reusable utensils and take photos on their phones as they eat straight from the earth. And you could be a star. -J